I wrote this post before Christmas, but I feel it is just as relevant today. Having someone feel that they can control you infuriates me. This isn't just about me. I am not proud to air dirty laundry, but I want a small few to see things from a different perspective. Things like this happen all the time and I have learned to give it to god. He will help me understand the ever changing "joint custody" that was agreed upon. But I will say, I refuse to be a babysitter rather than a mother and will not be controlled by anyone especially to somone that had nothing to do with his children until the divorce. Now he's father of the year with Jessica Casto. She tells him to hang up on me while he and I are discussing visitation, and while I was telling the boys goodby on their trip over Christmas vacation Jessica told Jamie to shut the door already. Now I find this despicable, and only two of the many instances that have led me to go ahead and release a post I wasn't sure I wanted to do. I want all in my family to find happiness and live a long prosperous life, including my ex, but when it comes to my children there is a fine line. The kids are camping this weekend while I finish my move. Things are really going great, There are just a few actions taken by a few people that helped me decide to release this post. "Change doesn't take place only through prayer and meditation, but also through actions"-Dali Llama. If you are going thru a recent divorce or have any comments please feel free. I'd love feedback. Good luck to everyone. One day at a time and one foot before the other. As I always say make it happen. No one else will do it for you.
Today has been unbelievable. Filled w broken promises, self-centered people who choose to put partying before my beautiful children. I am dumbfounded at the lack of respect people have for one another. I realize these people are sick, but to truely believe you have done nothing wrong when so many people and children are involved and affected makes my heart break. Maybe you reap what you sow, but when children are involved and contracts are broken the sadness is overwhelming. I have given it up. And maybe tomorrow will be different, but if you can't see what you've done is wrong then I'm not sure what to expect. It's a cold cruel world with bits and pieces of happiness and laughter. I hold on to those like they are my life line. In fact they are my life line! I have had the kids for ten days. What a blessing. Why am I crying to you guys. I just want what I want. Isn't that what we all want. I pray that god has a plan for all of this and that I get it, do it and others learn from my mistakes and good deeds. I am a very lucky woman and sometimes writing it down helps me to see that i have no control over what's going on around me. I can make some changes. I understand that some things I can't change and I ask for wisdom to know the difference. This is my prayer. This is said in my heart over and over again. Be kind to each other. Tomorrow is a new day. Let me sleep peaceful with an understanding in my heart. I wish you all the best.
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