Love Hate and Keeping it Real on Facebook.

I read an article about envy inducing Facebook. Some of this is from a post written by the author, with many tweets and truths I've added from my life... Many of you have been friends with me long enough to know I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. So I felt this was an appropriate post to express why...I have to keep it real. 

I have some really shitty days and some really good days. I cry, I yell, I laugh.

Sometimes, I get upset and I send impulsive texts filled with nonsense to my boyfriend, that I wish I could erase before they turn green. 

There are days I feel confused, and days everything makes sense.

I have issues with my parents. My Ex. (My fault because they are wonderful) I have issues. Period.

I get lonely, really lonely–I cry and then, I get over it.

I get angry, really angry–I yell or I cry and then, I get over it. 

I look in the mirror in the morning, and I hate my hair. 

Sometimes I want to throw my children out of a window because they drive me crazy when they fight. Which I have to admit in my case they rarely fight. They are good kids. I still have my issues, and they can drive me crazy!

When I'm lonely, completely out of my element OR happy with my boyfriend I will sometimes lay on the couch watching ID crime dramas, eating a tub of salted caramel ice cream. 

I will go to sleep tonight whenever I can, if I can, because that’s how I roll. I don’t have a glamorous social life, but since my divorce I miss going out. Fundraising, the Art Center, hanging with friends. Most is my fault. I isolate. 

Social media sometimes gives off an impression that everyone's life is perfect. 

Well, life is what happens between the snapshots. The real "us".  (From a movie, lol). 

Anyway, I stay on Facebook to see the happiness in your lives. If we all complained all the time, that wouldn't be much fun. I stay for the news. I refuse to compare my life to yours. I don't envy anyone's happiness. And I doubt anyone envies mine. 

Life isn't perfect, but I enjoy seeing the great parts of your life. Your beautiful faces and families. And I enjoy sharing with you. Just keep in mind, Facebook is usually the best of...good news, fun with kids, vacations. The good. There is still the real living we don't see, but it's there for all of us. 

Life is life...and I'll continue Just trying to keep it real.  This is the real morning me... Needing coffee, to actually WAKE UP! And a shower. Love yourself FIRST! Love your babies. And then you will be much easier to love. 

-m

Should Have Left Something To The Imagination

I cuss like a sailor.
I'm anxious as fuck.
I love the night sky.
I think the summer and winter solstices are magical.
I like npr.
I'm a bad driver.
I'm full of love for everything.
I'm brutally honest.
I talk to much.
I love my kids more than anything else in the world.
I'm loyal to a fault. Even when it's time to let go, I'll stay a loyal friend for life.
I've been hurt a lot and I ALWAYS forgive and forget.
I don't understand when people say one isn't capable of love.
I make promises to people I keep.
I make promises to myself I don't.
I like to be with people, but be alone. I guess I like comfortable silence.
Since I was a child, I have been uncomfortable with myself.
I am a master at faking that fact.
I am overly confident in myself.
I AM AN OXYMORON (conundrum) depending on my mood.
Both previous statements are true.
I have found a comfort and peace.
Blame it on circumstance, and I'm fine with it.
I love history. Esp. 1300-1700 England.
If I were to leave the country right now and go anywhere it would be England, then Patagonia.
I could live in Costa Rica for the rest of my life and be satisfied.
I don't like to sleep in my bed alone.
I love to go to the river and watch the stars and listen to the movement of the water.
I talk to god about 100 times a day.
I love key lime pie, dulce de leche ice cream, coffee.
Graphic Design is something I wish I had studied at college. I have books and books and more books about it.
I love photography.
Analog or digital.
Portraits are my favorite.
I'm a gypsy at heart.
I love to a fault.
Needing reassurance is a major personal defect.
I'm a bad cook.
I worry about everything.
I'm fighting depression every minute of the day.
I feel very blessed and lucky to be alive.
I've thought about killing myself many times, but know I'd never go through with it.
I think it gives me perspective, and I'm not that weak. God is my strength.
I'm not a waste of time or space.