Heartbreak at the River

I have feelings that I cannot control 

I have love that is lost to me

I hurt one hundred percent of the time

I ache where there is nowhere to ache

I Love when I know I won't be loved back 

I Believe when I know it's a lie

I know things when they happen without being told

My heart aches

I wish it would not fold like when a supernova turns into a black hole

I trust the untrustable

Love the unloveable 

Dream the undreamable

Wish the unthinkable

I see falling stars and the dark-side of the moon rainbows and fairies and stardust

But in my soul I have a deep dark lust to be normal like everyone else

Not to feel so deep into my subconscious self

I am so hurt 

My heat has been broken...shattered glass

A thousand small seeds that will hopefully grow into wild flowers instead of unbearable weeds

Friendship is hot and cold 

I have third degree burns

And I'm frozen in a death hold

I am shaking from anger and I feel I could be in danger from this magnificent ache and will live forever with this enormous heartbreak 

I walk outside and feel the heat which feels cool compared to the heat radiating from inside

My heart Is a millennium away 

My mind just as far- the sadness comes from- well, you know who you are 

I cannot go further though I must 

The river that I loved so much - I want to put rocks where they don't belong

Oh how I want that soul to hold on and not let this be my one last song

I am not depressed I just have feelings that I cannot suppress

It's a scary and sad feeling to know I'll not know how long I'll be reeling. 

Take me to the river take me the river take me to the river take me to the river take me to the river take me to the river take me to the river take me to the river take me to the river

Please just take me to the river one last time so I can put an end to this miserable rhyme. 

Sadness Isn't Contagious

I have been sad for the past few weeks. I would call it depression, but sad is more curious. Easier to explain. I have been so sad that I thought It may be contagious. My friend sat on the couch and watched me sleep night after night. He didn’t catch it. Another friend spent days with me and I laughed and cried and worried, but he didn’t catch it. I realize now it isn’t contagious. It’s only me. My feelings and you who were with me saved me. And cared and didn’t try to make me feel better. You just let me be. So, sadness is real. It’s a freedom we have to feel a certain way at a certain time. I love to have the ability to feel…sad. It’s okay. I will recover. And no one has to make me snap out of it. Just letting me be. Just being there with me. Freedom is ours. Feelings are ours for the taking. We can’t always choose to be happy and there is nothing wrong with that. Today I am happy. Tomorrow who knows. What I do know is that it’s all good. Happy, sad, excited or mad. Just be you at that time and place. The world will still revolve and our moods will resolve.