The power of one

In twenty years I have never lived alone. Actually I have never lived alone ever. I lived with my parents growing up. I lived with girlfriends In college. A small time w a good for nothing. Then eight glorious years with my best friend Gillian and her sister. Then I moved in with my husband. As of May this year we separated, and I started living alone for the first time ever. Sharing joint custody of our children. It has been so liberating. I make my own decisions and for once, I am proud of myself. This is a positive learning experience and a chance to be who I want to be; , which is a positive addition to my community and a positive influence on my children. I feel this big step is the right path and am thankful that even though I am living on my own I have the support of a wonderful group of friends. But most importantly the support of my wonderful family. Life is hard, but I can choose to make the best of it and hope it inspires other women by showing them that relying on yourself is a profound life lesson. If any one has suggestions or needs advice please comment. I love to hear other ideas on this subject from women and men. As I said, it's a learning experience. I wish everyone the best that is going thru a similar situation. Good luck and most important be happy. As I always say...
Make it happen.
Thanks, Mem

Respect 9/12 Preface by MM 1/26

I wrote this post before Christmas, but I feel it is just as relevant today. Having someone feel that they can control you infuriates me. This isn't just about me. I am not proud to air dirty laundry, but I want a small few to see things from a different perspective. Things like this happen all the time and I have learned to give it to god. He will help me understand the ever changing "joint custody" that was agreed upon. But I will say, I refuse to be a babysitter rather than a mother and will not be controlled by anyone especially to somone that had nothing to do with his children until the divorce. Now he's father of the year with Jessica Casto. She tells him to hang up on me while he and I are discussing visitation, and while I was telling the boys goodby on their trip over Christmas vacation Jessica told Jamie to shut the door already. Now I find this despicable, and only two of the many instances that have led me to go ahead and release a post I wasn't sure I wanted to do. I want all in my family to find happiness and live a long prosperous life, including my ex, but when it comes to my children there is a fine line. The kids are camping this weekend while I finish my move. Things are really going great, There are just a few actions taken by a few people that helped me decide to release this post. "Change doesn't take place only through prayer and meditation, but also through actions"-Dali Llama. If you are going thru a recent divorce or have any comments please feel free. I'd love feedback. Good luck to everyone. One day at a time and one foot before the other. As I always say make it happen. No one else will do it for you.


Today has been unbelievable. Filled w broken promises, self-centered people who choose to put partying before my beautiful children. I am dumbfounded at the lack of respect people have for one another. I realize these people are sick, but to truely believe you have done nothing wrong when so many people and children are involved and affected makes my heart break. Maybe you reap what you sow, but when children are involved and contracts are broken the sadness is overwhelming. I have given it up. And maybe tomorrow will be different, but if you can't see what you've done is wrong then I'm not sure what to expect. It's a cold cruel world with bits and pieces of happiness and laughter. I hold on to those like they are my life line. In fact they are my life line! I have had the kids for ten days. What a blessing. Why am I crying to you guys. I just want what I want. Isn't that what we all want. I pray that god has a plan for all of this and that I get it, do it and others learn from my mistakes and good deeds. I am a very lucky woman and sometimes writing it down helps me to see that i have no control over what's going on around me. I can make some changes. I understand that some things I can't change and I ask for wisdom to know the difference. This is my prayer. This is said in my heart over and over again. Be kind to each other. Tomorrow is a new day. Let me sleep peaceful with an understanding in my heart. I wish you all the best.

Beautiful Minds

Today is a day to think positively. The will be positive actions and positive results. We all have our ups and downs, but the beauty is that we have the option to change. We can change our attitude, make the decision and do it. We can change the course of our day by simply changing our attitude. The second we feel like our attitude or our actions are becoming negative just think about what you have to be grateful for. It could be our children and the Beauty we see in them. It could be our work and how thankful we are to have it. It may be our friendships, loves or just the beauty in the prosaic. Today I will not dwell on money or the lack of it, lost love or past mistakes that no matter what we do we can't change. We can be accountable for our actions and hopefully today those actions will be a positive influence on those around us. Life is short, and as I tell my kids, hard! We work towards being better people and hope that little bugger called feeling sorry for ourselves isn't more powerful than our ability to be positive, happy and full of understanding. I wish you all the best in your quest for happiness. For me- so far so good!
Love you all.

"Presume not that I am the thing I was"
- William Shakespeare