For My Friend-Confused

We are all confused. Too many options. The world at our fingertips. Photography? Writing? Painting? Antiquing? Design? Do it all. What you want; what will fulfill you will come to you when it's time. There is a purpose and a reason for everything. Do what you enjoy in this moment. In this moment enjoy what you are doing. You love someone or something so much you hate them. Expectations are Poison But inevitable. You are living and dying at the same time. Do what makes you happy and you aren't wasting your time. Thinking, working, painting, sleeping, reading, day dreaming, loving, running, seeing, playing, acting, living and dying. Today is the day. Do exactly what you want to do. Why is it that we can't. We are trying to live up to the expectations of others. It's a no win situation. We have to make money to exist. To eat, have a roof, sleep. Do it, make your living doing what you want to do. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to succeed. Don't be afraid to be afraid. If you aren't scared then you aren't taking chances, which means you aren't doing exactly what you  want to be doing at that moment. Take life as it is. It's just a day to day thing we live through, and it's my choice, your choice if it is good, great or shitty. I choose great. But I can assure you I have plenty of bad ones, too. I choose not to always be in a perfect mood. I am divorced. I have the choice not to get up, out of bed on a Saturday occasionally. Does that mean I am not living up to my full potential? I don't think so. I may not live up to the potential you expect of me , but I am living up to the potential I have chosen for myself that day. Plain and simple. If I love you so much I hate you. That's a big mistake I'm making. If I am not doing what I want to do in life to be a better person. That's a big mistake I'm making. Do your thing and sooner than later you will know what your path should be. Some found it long ago. Some found it yesterday. I think my path is a winding road that has many trails and twists and turns, and right now I am doing what I am meant to be doing. I truly hope you are, too, but I have no expectations. All I can tell you is...make it happen...when it's your time. Smiles to everyone.

monday

i feel as if i have no heart

as if it wouldn’t matter if i did

i was never a child

i never had a childlike thought

i never believed in children’s tales or fairytales

i never had an imagination

no pretend play or dolls

maybe that is why love is like pretend to me

but unfortunately love is a powerful presence now

animation my favorite art form

poetry is my favorite form of literature

photography my love

i am living 

barely

Goodnight...

It’s 12:00 am. I have this dream that mingles with reality and imagination which I like because I haven’t had much imagination lately which fucks with a creative type person. 
But the dream is getting me nowhere, and by now I don’t even remember what it was about anyway. Mind swirls searching, hunting, gathering, but it’s too late. It slipped my grasp. Much like in real life. That elusive “that’s it” moment. It’s ok, happens a lot. If I can be patient it will eventually come to me and if it doesn’t…I’m used to it, the feeling of disappointment. Life goes on and I’ll find inspiration somewhere else. I at least found my peace again. My mind has stopped swirling aided by the dreaded cigarette. I am going back to sleep. I probably won’t even remember this when I wake up amidst the craziness of getting three kids ready for school and myself ready for work. Goodnight, maybe.

SISTERS. Stephany Milroy

sister http://sister.urbanup.com/3166376:


I have a beautiful sister. Steph is what I have always called her. I remember when she was born. So tiny and fragile. Steph is five years younger than me, so when she was born my dad and I became even closer than we already were. I was always a daddy's girl. At least until my teens, then all hell broke loose. Another story for another day.
As Stephany grew she became the cutest thing I had ever laid eyes on. I am talking cutest thing ever. My cousins and I would bring out the tape recorder and make her say watermelon over and over and laugh until we cried! She had weird habits and played by herself a lot and I eventually turned into her baby sitter. Ugh.
Many stories I could tell, but today is siblings day? (Hallmark Holiday) I just want her to know that I love you, Steph, unconditionally. You have been my rock the past few years and you amaze me all the time. Your beauty inside and out are remarkable. I love you. Everyone give your siblings love everyday. Not just on a made up holiday.
For fun, here are some great definitions of sister from URBAN DICTIONARY...


Sister
There are two type of sisters, ones the good friend kind, she'll always seem to be there somehow when you need help and it just seems like a good friendship instead of having a sibling. You and your sister would often ask each other for favours and sometimes pull a couple pranks on each other and can keep a secret, it might seem strange sometimes but at the same time natural.

The other kind is the very annoying type, she is most likely very annoying and would really embarrass you in front of your friends, unintentionally, and intentionally. often quite arrogant and takes every advantage to crush your social life and confidence.
1. my friend carries his sister's stuff to school for her, in return he asks to borrow money from her whenever he has a sudden urge to raid a vending machine for candy.
2. my friend "Ok seriously, every time i come over to your house your sister is screaming, and now she's gonna come to your grad and probably scream because unlike you , she didn't get a date for the dance? That's rough."

Me "yea i know, she's gonna ruin it for me."


Sister
A Sibling of the Female sex, whom's goal is to create complete hell for the older sibling.
a. Be nice to your sister.


Sister
creations of satin designed to search and destroy the older sibling
a. my sister is eating my arm


Sister
your sister is the girl that will always be there for you and may save you one day, wether you know it or not. your sister may or may not be related to you and could just be an amazing friend, but either way your sister is always slow to judge and quick to forgive. she will always love you, she might just hide it from you.


Sister
A person created by your parents for the sole purpose of giving you a convienient girlfriend.
A. Boy: Let's have sex!
Sister: Ok...but that's the twelfth time today, not counting the anal!

Sister
a strange alien species which is out to wreck male human life.
a. my sister is an alien out to ruin my life.


Sister
A female with whom you share parents. Depending on the birth order she can be 1. your friend or 2. the BIGGEST BITCH EVER.
1. My sister is going to take me to see Iron Man 2.
2. My fucking sister just stole my wallet.


Sister
Some girl who thinks that just because she's related to you, can just waltz into your house and eat all the strawberry flavored yougurts when she knows that thoes ones are your favorites!
You know your sister has broken into your house when
A. You turn on the TV and it's set to the Style Network.
B. There's tire tracks on your lawn.
C. Your cat's liter box has a human poo in it.

Sister
An anoying person that is related to you in some way and is out to ruin your life.
a. My little sister is a brat.

Pornography and strippers! Yeah!

Ok. So I have a serious problem with pornography and strip clubs. It's a high anxiety topic for me and has been for years.
I am not a huge femmenist nor am I jealous of a beautiful woman. In fact I have two views. I can appreciate beauty in all forms. I also think pretty women and men are a dime a dozen. What bothers me is why they do it, their motivation and the way it may lead to infedelity. I feel one should not put themselves in the position to cheat. To have roaming eyes. You either find satisfaction with your partner or you move on.

Mnemosyne http://mnemosyne.urbanup.com/156747

Mnemosyne http://mnemosyne.urbanup.com/156747: Mother of the nine muses by Zeus. Also known as the goddess of memory.

@%#€ Facebook!

So I have given up Facebook dor rhe most part. Didn't delete my account. Have real friends I feel I need to keep up with, plus its the main access for readers of my blog, but the ridiculousness of the whole FB phenom has gotten to me. It is full of vulgar comments, half naked women and people who are full of shit. I was surely the main one. FB has proven itself to be a divorce or break-up initiator. It makes the world so small. I like to realize the vastness of our lovely planet I call home.
Men and women find each other they haven't seen in years, curiosities get sparked and then the fire storm.
The vulgarity...I never realized people's passion for the nasty. The laugh that comes from filth or others pain.
So, little ole me, making a stand. Ha! Not going to be noticed by a soul, but I stand on my principles, not my soap box.
Now I have to figure another way to get my blog out there for me and the few of you that read it.

On another note... My dear friend read my blog and posted a post of his own in response. Thought you might like to read it. His blog is here on blogger as well. I'll be blogging more soon... Remember to make it happen, no one else can do it for you!
AND FOR GODS SAKE STAND YOUR GROUND!


The Sonneteer
TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 2013

ZEPHYR’S VAST PASSION


Zephyr’s vast passion is like no other
its gentle power waking the senses
inspiring graceful Mnemosyne, her
every view turning to art intense as
his constant breath on her body, blowing
warmth over her pores, his arms caressing
her, his gentle-breeze hands combing glowing
ebony hair, its soft tresses possessing
magic and mystery, recalling his
mission to bless. He will shield her pale frame
from eastern storms, lie with her in bliss, kiss
her closed eyes, soft lips, whispering her name
with poet’s voice, repeating tenderly
his choice: Mnemosyne…Mnemosyne…

Roger Armbrust
March 19, 2013
Peculiar Progressive at 12:18 AM

Dear Friends Response

God sends Angels for a reason...
thesonneteer.blogspot.com
Please this blog it is a wonderful site that makes you think, laugh, cry and use your mind in a very special way.


The Sonneteer
FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 2013

VERNOREXIA


Afternoon sun flows over windowsill
nearing my daughter’s dining-room table
where I sit at my laptop, reap my fill
of your blog honoring spring. I’m able
to focus—while Cath and Trudy discuss
their latest art project just feet away—
on your gentle words ranging from precious
beauty of heavens to kiddos at play
to vegetable gardens. I study
your tulip-tree photos, the way you catch
shadow and light, brace blossom to blue sky.
Scrolling back up to your bio, I watch
your photo. Eyes gaze past me, yet touch my core.
My cursor’s finger traces your bare shoulder.

Roger Armbrust
March 15, 2013
Peculiar Progressive at 12:21 PM

VERNOREXIA- a romantic mood inspired by spring

If it were any more beautiful outside I'd be wishing for the second coming just to be closer to the beauty of the heavens today! Don't stay in all day. Enjoy it. Spring is my favorite time of year. The new buds and tiny leaves. The wet soil in your hands as you clean up your flower or vegetable gardens. Watching the kids skate, play soccer, just run around enjoying the fresh air not thinking of the newness in everything. It's a time when I'm satisfied with what I either have or have not. I'm sorry for the loss of someone close to my friends, but what a beautiful time to be delivered to the heavens. Sometimes happiness and sadness coincide with each other. It's bittersweet. But today I will relish in having my children and this glorious day. Our attitude is a choice and today is a perfect example of how easy it is to be positive, happy and understanding. Welcome spring. I've been waiting for the peace and vernorexia you bring.

Had enough

Take a walk in my shoes. Size 8. Ill tell you something, life is hard. You try to have a good time znd your friend loses his phone. You try to stay clean and sober... Noone believes you. You finally get rid if a shitty ex... Wait, have to start over...
Let me tell you a little bit about life. It's fucking hard. You work all day. Then go to have some fun. Well you lose your phone. So not only do u lose money that u played w at the track which was planned and okay, but then your friend loses his phone. 500$ unplanned. And the worst part is that its the info on the phone that's valuable not the price of the phone. Then to top it off, its your time of the month and simce you've been fucked figuratively you want to get fucked literally. My mom is probably dying right now. This is life.
Then you have an ex husband who wants to control you. I'm off all Rx drugs. Always recovering. One day at a time but damn its hard. Today was fun and sucked. I hate we lost the phone. I hate I Didn't have my camera. I hate we lost money. Life is hard. I have a new blog bluememoon.tumblr.com . Was keeping private but took me a min to figure out the new private one. I have a dark side. I have a light side. There are many me's. This may or may not make since to you but I'm venting. I've a lot of people telling me what to do. I prefer they just do it, what it is they are instructing me to do. Sounds lazy but that's not how I mean it. I want to live my own life. I want everyone happy. Nothing shitty about that. Like I say... Make it happen. Well why the fuck won't you let me....

Is an Apology Good Enough?

Wow... So I have been in the middle of a break up with someone I really thought I cared about. It saddens me when people can't have the decency to treat each other w respect during horrible times like this.
There is a country song by The Zack Brown Band that talks about being able to tell it was over in her kiss. Well, I knew it was over about a month ago. I was doing things to try to make it work that I would never ordinarily do. I
thought I loved him. But I was told by him, in the heat of argument, my art sucks, my blog is nothing but whining and crying, and I have no career. All this was in the middle of being called a lying, slut whore, an Ignorant, stupid, clingy, needy bitch, and that I think my shit "don't stink".
Now I feel like a person has a right to say what ever they want on their own blog. Sometimes it's a good positive message, sometimes maybe sad, informative and occasionally a little bit whiny. You see it's my blog and I write what I feel and what I think you might be interested in. I just want everyone to know that no one should belittle themselves by taking any kind of abuse; physical, verbal, mental, emotional anything that makes them feel like they are less than perfect. We are all good by nature. The person delivering the abuse is the one with the problem and they cannot be helped until they realize they have a problem.
Arguments occur, they are inevitable, BUT there is a way to be civil. There are hotlines for physical abuse. I am going to do a lot of research on the other forms of abuse that men and women experience everyday. I will not be a victim.
This is not the blog post I wanted to share for my first post of the new year. I have so much positive energy to share, but I felt you should know this happens to many people without us even knowing about it. I love you all and hope you will be aware of how you are being treated and how you treat others. I wish you all peace and happiness in this glorious new year. I have so many things to be grateful for, and my next blog will be uplifting and positive. And like I always say make it happen, because no one is gonna do it for you

"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past." - Into The Wild.